Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
