I'm really into asian looking animals
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
