his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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