i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
