So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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