soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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