$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize