I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
