Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
