I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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