Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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