Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
