You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
