I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize