I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
