i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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