That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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