I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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