he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize