If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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