i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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