Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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