honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
