I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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