went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
