New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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