Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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