Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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