I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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