Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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