We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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