R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
