Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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