Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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