I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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