we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
