It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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