i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
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I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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