It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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