the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Quick, to the slutcave!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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