Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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