I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
