what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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