You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
