Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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