I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
