She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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