i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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