Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
