i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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