I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
