Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
