are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
