When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize