She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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