I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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