1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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